I am two weeks shy of my one year anniversary of working on me. I want to sit here and tell you that it's been a cake walk for me and I've reached all my goals, but I promised to be real and raw with yall.
Honestly, half the time it's sucked. I really freaking like reeses pieces and fresh cookies, and you don't want to know what happens if I see a loaf of panera bread. If I had to choose eating mangoes for every meal over a balanced diet with no consequences, I would choose mangoes. I really like mangoes. And working out everyday? But what about all of those episodes of Once Upon a Time we have to catch up on....
Some days, I still feel like the insecure 18 year old who got broken up with for the first time. Or the 22 year old who can still hear "I don't love you, you're fat" by someone she thought loved her. Here I am, 7 days away from turning 24 and it hasn't been smooth sailing. I'm easily stressed and overly emotional, and a lot of times that gets reflected into how I eat. Hence my suffering from emotional eating for the first 23 years of my life (looking at you pop tart machine in high school). I have everything I could ever want out of life, yet my brain tricks me into feeling spiraled out of control. In all honesty, I have no idea why. That in itself is the hardest thing I have been working to ovecome.
When I started, I thought by now I would have that tiny waist and six pack that we all see in Cosmo and on pinterest. I mean, that's the goal right? I have never been more thankful that my goals and my mind have changed since a year ago. One year ago, I desperately reached out to this girl with a chocolate lab just like mine. I was desperate to feel in control again and to lose the 45 pounds I had gained throughout college.
As of today, I've lost 35 of that 45. I am not perfect, I still slip up. What is important is realizing that this week when reality checks in, I am going to be okay. I haven't hit my goals yet, and I really freaking want chocolate right now, but I'm okay. I am stressed, I am blessed, I am sore and so much more. That girl with the chocolate lab? Well she also loves chocolate and is muh best friend. She's kinda the bomb.com. Between her and Justin, they keep me grounded and on track which is just what I needed in my life.
For right now, I'm just hungry and that's the reality of my situation. When your reality checks in, embrace it. After all, nothing will change your life except you.
Chocolate versus snap peas. What do you think is going to win?